Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Day 3 of Quit For Good!

Today went rather well with barely any cravings for cigarettes. Using the nicotine gum is great to curb off most of the horrid withdrawal symptoms, I know I definitely cannot quit cold turkey. I've only used 4 pieces of gum today which equals 8mg's of nicotine. My aim is to slowly reduce my gum use milligram by milligram; reducing the dose in weekly increments. I slept a few hours this arvo as I was so tired; I drank less tea than usual as that is a major cigarette craving trigger for me...but I need my cups of tea to feel energized and cig cravings always disappear. I feel much healthier too which is fantastic!

I swear that if I didn't have my gorgeous boyfriends support and belief that I can finally do this, I would lose determination in a second. It is with his encouragement and his such loving concern about my health that makes me know that I will truly beat this demon this time. I promised my lover I would quit cigarettes, for the both of us, and I truly need to show him that I mean it. It is with the power of our love that will guide me through this final quit smoking attempt. I love you honey.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Quit: Day One

Today I'm in a rather bad mood and have the biggest urge to smoke a cigarette; but not for the nicotine, just for the act of smoking a cigarette itself. Due to the nicotine gum I'm chewing, I already have nicotine in my system which is a major help in quitting, as going cold turkey has never been successful for me in the past. Nicotine is so damn hard to quit and it is evil. Having an addictive personality, I've overcome a past benzodiazepine addiction, which was absolutely piss easy compared to nicotine

I'm so glad I have my partner's support in this and so far he is the only one who I've told, besides any anonymous person I don't know who actually reads this! I know he hates me smoking and I feel bad that when I kiss my partner I must taste like an ashtray and reek of smoke...well not anymore!

Until tomorrow,
Tony


Saturday, September 13, 2008

IT'S TIME TO QUIT

As I sit here after having thought about this moment for so many years. Sure I've faced it so many times now but inside not truly seriously, although this time I feel so enthusiastic about it, it's a very pure inspirational source guiding me. Quitting smoking once and for all. I do admit, the concept is very frightening, for the nicotine demons are relentless and even after 40 years and more, they are still there in the back of the mind, from most reports I've encountered. I have my supportive lover who will be with me and I love him so much for that.

In the past whenever I've tried to quit I've been absolutely bombarded with negativity in the form of comments and I thought humans were supposed to stick together. It is rare that I found such a loving and genuine beauty in my man.

Note first: At 10 years old I said I would 'never ever smoke'!!!

My smoking history:
Started 11 years old, very rarely then
Age 12: I bought my first pack, smoked once a week.
Age 13: I smoked one cigarette daily.
Age 14: I smoked a packet a week. Discovered marijuana and alcohol, always spewed tho!
Age15: 2 packets a week, could still go with out smokes though, due to no money.
Age 16: 100 smokes a week.
Age 27: Hasn't changed much since 16, that is when I discovered I was truly addicted.

So it has been a very long time and due to the recent death of my dear 24 year old cousin from smoking related asthma, this is partly in his honor. God bless his cheerful soul.

I shall update very often on my progress, especially the first few 'critical' days and I should note that I'm using 2mg nicotine gum in lowering doses to help with the extreme mood swings I know I will encounter!

Please check back regularly with comments and tips if you've overcome the nicotine curse.